"so what now? you were hot for cristen, she didn't like you, so now you're hot for hannah?"

everytime i think about that i want to cry. parents can be so cruel/mean/understanding (ha!) sometimes.

because it came from them, it drives stakes into my heart/brain and it makes me want to piss blood.

ew.

all i know is, i'm not hot for anyone. i don't get "hot" for people unless i want to FUCK. what they said really hurt me, and i still think about it, cos it makes me want to FUCKING CRY.

and it happened about a month ago. 3 weeks or something. 3 1/2 weeks. something.

i'm still upset about it. it really really hurt. I DON'T KNOW WHY.

but apparently not enough to give me fuel for poetry.

nothing gives me fuel for poetry.

or lyrics.

this lack of creativity and expression, this emptiness makes me feel... i dunno. like jumping off a tall, tall building. but how am i going to get into those in downtown tampa?